The Lost Art of Waiting: Why Every Moment Doesn’t Need to be Filled

I want you to think about your life as an adult.  Think about the things you do and the places you go in your everyday life.  You are probably thinking about what your daily/weekly/monthly schedule looks like, right?  

From the time you wake up in the morning until you go to bed at night, there is one thing that almost everything you do has in common.  And, if you read the title of this article you can probably figure out what I am going to say.  Waiting.  So, let’s go through a somewhat typical day in the life of an adult and figure out some of the things you do that involve waiting.

• Do you share a bathroom with anyone else in your house?  Are you all getting ready at the same time in the morning?  Then at some point you are probably left waiting your turn to use the bathroom.
• When you take a shower, does your house have magic, instant hot water?  No?  Mine doesn’t either.  So you will be left waiting for the water to heat up enough to actually take your shower in the morning.
• Do you make breakfast in the morning or does someone else?  In my house, I make breakfast during the week-days and my husband makes it on the weekends (if we don’t go out).  So, on the weekends I have to wait for breakfast to be made before I can eat.
• Do you drive a car to work?  Yes?  Then, you probably also have to wait in traffic sometimes – or all the time – depending on your commute.
• Do you drive your kids to school?  More waiting in traffic.
• Do you walk your kids to the bus stop and then WAIT for the bus, which may or may not be on time?
• If you go grocery shopping, do you wait your turn to get products off the shelf?  Wait in line at the checkout?  Wait to cross the parking lot with your cart?
• How about various appointments you have during the week?  Is there waiting involved with those?  Probably.

There are many more examples of things we do in adult life that involve waiting, but we won’t spend any more time on those since I’m sure you already get the idea.  There is no question that waiting is a significant part of the human experience.

As with all of my blog posts so far, let’s time travel back to the 80’s – or pick your favorite decade before the 2000’s.  If you were born and raised during any of the decades before the 2000’s you will likely remember that waiting during those time periods was much different than waiting now in 2026.  If you were not born during this time-frame, I want you to imagine a time before hand-held screens.

What did waiting look like before hand-held screens became widely used?  What did people do while they waited?  We are focusing on adults right now.  We will move on to children later in the article.

Does your list look something like this?

Observe their surroundings; Read magazines; Read books; Read newspapers; Chat with others; Think about their day; Plan future activities; Daydream; People-watch; Reflect; Pray; Sketch; Listen to sounds around them; Enjoy quiet moments

Or, has it been so long since you have waited without a screen in your hand that you have forgotten what waiting used to look like?  Maybe you have never had the experience of waiting without access to a screen?  If either of these is the case for you, you are not alone.  Although I grew up in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s, I too have lost touch with what waiting used to look like – what waiting should look like.  

We are all victims of the time in which we are living and it is a difficult thing to not follow the crowd.

Ok, let’s switch gears here and look at waiting and the childhood experience.  Not unlike boredom, the experience of waiting is now perceived as a negative part of childhood – I think because it leads to boredom.  But, if Boredom Is Not An Emergency, then neither is waiting. 

Here are some everyday childhood activities that require waiting:

Home

• Waiting for cookies to bake
• Waiting for dinner to be ready
• Waiting for a sibling to finish using a toy
• Waiting for a turn in a game
• Waiting for a parent to help
• Waiting for a friend to come over
• Waiting for a birthday
• Waiting for a holiday
• Waiting for a package to arrive
• Waiting for a plant to grow

School

• Waiting in line
• Waiting for lunch
• Waiting for recess
• Waiting for your turn to speak
• Waiting for a teacher’s help
• Waiting for everyone to finish an activity
• Waiting to be called on

Sports and Activities

• Waiting for practice to start
• Waiting on the sidelines
• Waiting for your turn at bat
• Waiting for your turn in dance class
• Waiting during swim lessons
• Waiting for a sibling’s activity to end

Out in the Community

• Waiting in a grocery store line
• Waiting at a restaurant
• Waiting in a doctor’s office
• Waiting at the bank
• Waiting at the post office
• Waiting for a haircut
• Waiting at the pharmacy
• Waiting for a table at a restaurant

Traveling

• Waiting in traffic
• Waiting at stoplights
• Waiting at airports
• Waiting for a bus
• Waiting for a train
• Waiting during long car rides

Nature and Play

• Waiting for a butterfly to land
• Waiting for a bird to appear
• Waiting for a fish to bite
• Waiting for a seed to sprout
• Waiting for rain
• Waiting for snow
• Waiting for a caterpillar to become a butterfly

Big Life Events

• Waiting for summer vacation
• Waiting for Christmas
• Waiting for a birthday
• Waiting for a new baby
• Waiting to lose a tooth
• Waiting to be old enough to do something

When I think about waiting as a child, I remember spending a lot of time simply looking around. In the car, I would stare out the window and watch the world go by. And, since I did all that staring out the window, I knew the routes to all of the regular places to which we traveled.  

At restaurants, my brother and I would have long conversations with our parents and complain about the food we didn’t like.  It also was not uncommon for my brother to disappear under the table – and then it was a group effort to get him back out again. 

In waiting rooms, I looked at the magazines stacked on tables, looked at fish tanks, and studied every poster hanging on the walls. 

Waiting wasn’t always exciting, but it gave me opportunities to observe, think, imagine, and learn about the world around me – something a screen can never replicate.

Again, let’s time travel back to the 80’s (or any time period before the 2000’s) – a time before hand-held screens were widely available – and think about what children would have done to entertain themselves while waiting.

Here are some things children used to do while waiting:

In the Car

• Look out the window
• Count cows, trucks, or license plates
• Play car games
• Watch the scenery
• Memorize routes
• Ask questions

In Waiting Rooms

• Read books
• Look at fish tanks
• Play with toys
• Talk quietly
• Watch people come and go

In Restaurants

• Color on placemats
• Talk with family
• Read menus
• Play tic-tac-toe
• Watch food being prepared

In Grocery Stores

• Help find items
• Read labels
• Compare prices
• Push a small cart
• Help bag groceries

Now I want you to think about what you see children doing in 2026 while they are waiting—or what your own children do while they are waiting. When I am out in the community, it is increasingly rare for me to see children without a screen in front of them. Whether they are sitting in a shopping cart at the grocery store, waiting at a restaurant, riding in the car, or sitting in a waiting room, screens have become the default way to pass the time.

I understand why this has happened. We live in a busy world, and screens offer an easy solution when children are bored, restless, or impatient.

And as I’ve said in previous blog posts, my intention is not to make anyone feel bad, guilty, or ashamed. My goal is simply to raise awareness of the screen-saturated culture we now live in and to encourage families to consider alternatives that create more opportunities for connection, conversation, exploration, and real-life learning. 

What concerns me is not that children occasionally use screens while they wait. The concern is that many children rarely have opportunities to experience waiting at all. Every moment of boredom, stillness, or waiting is quickly filled. As a result, children miss opportunities to observe, think, imagine, practice patience, and learn how to be comfortable without constant stimulation.

The bottom line is, being an adult involves lots of waiting and being a child involves lots of waiting.  In many ways, childhood itself is a season of waiting – to grow, to learn, to master skills, to take turns, to celebrate milestones, to experience exciting events.

Waiting is not wasted time. Some of childhood’s most important learning happens in those unstructured moments when there is nothing to do except pay attention to the world around us.

That’s why learning how to wait isn’t a side skill—it’s one of the most important life skills children can develop. And they develop it by actually waiting, not by being distracted from waiting every time it happens – by screens. 

After all, waiting is not something children need to escape. It is something they need to learn how to do.