Wonder Doesn’t Need Entertainment: The Childhood We Used to Know

Many years ago, decades really, I was a young child growing up in the 70’s and 80’s.  Things were different back then.  Yes, we had toys, lots of them –  I had a very privileged childhood.  But, playing with toys wasn’t the majority of what occupied my time.  The majority of my time was spent outside with my younger brother and our neighborhood friends.

Back then we had a level of freedom that children these days can only imagine.  We “ran the neighborhood.”  Most of the time my mom probably didn’t even know where we were. But, she knew we were safe because we actually knew all of our neighbors back then – and they were all keeping an eye on all of the kids.  And none of them were entertaining any of us! 

So, if we weren’t being entertained, what did we do with all of our time?  

We played in the mud.  We used large cardboard boxes to make houses.  We pulled each other around in wagons.  We rode bikes.  We collected doodle bugs (or, rolly pollies as we call them in Michigan), worms, and frogs.  We collected tadpoles from the water that would collect by the curbs when it rained.  We played with sticks, even the big ones called branches.  Heck, if we could get ahold of an entire tree, we probably would have.  We drank from the hose when we got thirsty.  We PLAYED IN THE STREET – and we didn’t die.  I even remember one time we used mud, pine cones, sticks, rocks, etc to make speed bumps across our road to try and slow the “speeders” down.   I could go on and on.  

If we were bored, it was our fault.  

But, what about if we had a long car ride, went to the grocery store, had to sit in a doctor’s office waiting room, went to a restaurant, went to the bank (there were no ATM’s back then), or any of the other myriad of things adults drag kids around doing on any given day?  I know this may sound shocking, but we usually did absolutely nothing.  Nothing – except be present and observe what was going on around us.  

Back then our parents didn’t even bring toys or books or anything along to entertain us – because that was NOT THEIR JOB.  With rare exception, the kids, and the kids alone, were responsible for entertaining themselves – at home or when out and about.   If we wanted to bring something along to do, we had to take charge and bring it ourselves.  But, bringing toys or books along was really not a common thing back then.  Getting dragged around with our parents on errands was just an opportunity to be bored.  And, folks, we were definitely bored.  Back then, that was ok.  

While we were bored, we had the opportunity to observe (and sometimes even participate) in what was going on around us.

At the grocery store we learned about different kinds of food, where they were located in the store, how much they cost.  We learned about money (actual money back then), how to go through the check out (no U-scan back then), how to talk to strangers, and even how to bag groceries.  I have an entire blog post about grocery shopping.  I highly recommend checking it out if you have not already done so.

In the car we learned how to get to all kinds of places around us – and we memorized the routes.  We learned about traffic rules, road signs, street signs, pot holes, different kinds of homes in different kinds of neighborhoods, where businesses were located, semi-trucks, so many different kinds of cars, motorcycles, road kill, and even nature.

At the doctor’s office waiting room we learned how to greet the staff and check in with the front desk, how to sit politely in a waiting room, how to listen for our name (or our parent’s name) to be called, and we learned about other names that maybe we had never heard before.  

At the bank we learned how to greet the teller when we walked in, how to ask for help with what we needed to do, how to count money, how to open a bank account, how to wait patiently when we had nothing to do, how to speak politely to others, and how to handle problems involving money.

When we went to a restaurant we learned how to greet the host, how to count the number of people in our group, how to walk politely to our table, how to look at a menu and decide what we want to eat, how to order food, how to ask for things we might need while eating, how to use silverware properly, how to put our napkin on our lap, proper table manners, how to take turns talking with the people at our table, and sometimes how to just sit there and be bored.

Now I want you to think about what you see kids doing now, in the current time we are living.  

When you drive through neighborhoods, do you see kids out running around with other kids?  Do you see kids playing ball in the street?  Do you see kids out riding bikes?  Do you see kids playing in the mud?  Do you see kids building forts with branches?  Do you see kids playing in boxes?  Do you see kids collecting bugs and worms and frogs?

When you go to the grocery store, do you see kids in carts or walking alongside their parents observing and participating in what is going on around them?

When you are out driving in your car, do you see kids with their heads up against the window, looking out, watching the world go by?

When you are at the doctor’s office, do you see kids sitting in chairs looking bored out of their minds while waiting to hear their names called?

When you are at the bank, do you see kids watching money being counted or their parents opening a new bank account?

Sometimes your answer might be yes.  But, I would bet that most of the time your answer will be no – because I’m living in this world too and most of the time this is not what I see kids doing either.  Most of the time, when I see kids, they are on screens.  In the cart in the grocery store, in the car, in the doctor’s office waiting room, at the bank. 

And when you drive through neighborhoods, you just don’t see kids anymore.  You don’t see them at all – for many reasons, some of which involve screens.  There are other reasons besides screens that you don’t see kids outside running around in their neighborhoods anymore.  But, that is another topic for another day.  

Because parents have this unrealistic belief that kids should never be bored and, therefore, need constant entertainment – and that they are responsible for providing it. 

But, in reality, there are so many things that kids miss out on if they are never given the opportunity to be bored and are constantly being entertained.  Real life experiences are passing them by – WONDER is passing them by.

The Difference Between Entertainment and Wonder

Entertainment is something that is provided to us. Wonder is something we discover for ourselves.

Entertainment tells us where to look, what to think about, and how to spend our time. Wonder begins when we notice something unexpected and decide to explore it further.

Wonder lives in puddles, worms, clouds, sticks, grocery stores, waiting rooms, road trips, and even boring errands. It lives in the ordinary moments that most of us rush through every day.

The problem isn’t that children occasionally watch a show, play a game, or use a screen. The problem is that when every quiet moment is filled with entertainment, there is very little room left for wonder.

Wonder needs space.

It needs time.

It needs boredom.

It needs children who are free to look around, ask questions, make connections, and discover things for themselves.

The next time your child says, “I’m bored,” remember that boredom isn’t necessarily a problem to solve. Sometimes it’s simply the doorway to curiosity, imagination, and wonder.

Childhood doesn’t need more entertainment.

It needs more opportunities for wonder.